Tuesday, 31st March 2026.
You might be thinking, "What does water and soil have to do with my relationship?"
If you are fortunate enough to have found someone special - who loves you, treats you well and respects you - then you'll know that the connection you share between the two of you is alive. It is its own entity that thrives when things are going well and suffers when things aren't succeeding. This connection that we have with our special someone is the bond that we share and build on with another person, and it should be treated like a living creature.
Hence the reference to water and soil. As your connection with your special someone can be viewed as a living creature, you need to treat it like one too! Personally, I like to compare relationships to plants.
We all know that plants need (in a very broad sense) 3 key things to survive: sunlight, water, and healthy soil. The sun and water provide energy and hydration, permitting photosynthesis. The soil provides nutrients and a home for the roots - the foundation.
Plants require effort to keep alive and healthy. If you forget to water them for a few days, they'll probably die. If you buy cheap soil, they'll look sad and unhealthy, and if you accidentally leave your plant in the shade, its growth may be stunted.
It's important to take a similar perspective for our relationships. There are - usually - two people who are sharing the responsibility of caring for the relationship (your collective plant). This plant needs to be consistently watered, given light, and have the soil reviewed for fertility.
Everyone's relationships are different. Couples reap greater benefits from different activities, experiences, moments of vulnerability, and conversation. The purpose of this piece is not to give you the blueprint on how to maintain your relationship but rather to offer some advice on why consistent care will allow the both of you to flourish.
You and your partner may be highly competitive, and love to play games or sports together. You might enjoy quiet dinners and beautiful sunsets with your partner, or crazy new experiences like skydiving or travelling. These are all important conversations to have with your person - although they'll inevitably come to fruition if you both enjoy each other's company.
But these are all examples of how you can water your plant and keep the soil fertile. I'll give you a more personal example.
My girlfriend and I have a ritual, where on the 25th of every month, we celebrate the monthly anniversary of us becoming a couple. We go out to a nice dinner, and bring ourselves back to each other, no matter how crazy life gets. This routine lays a solid foundation for us - something to look forward to each month, whilst celebrating a special occasion that means something to us as a unit and as a team.
There are lots of smaller examples of "watering" our relationship, too! Things as simple as a good morning and good night text, random "I love you!" messages, impulsive flowers and even more impulsive trips to the markets, are all examples of experiences, intimacies, or exchanges that will allow your relationship to continue to grow and bloom.
Everything counts in the relationship. Challenge yourself to continue to grow and get better and encourage your person to do the same through your own actions. Understand and do the things that you enjoy doing together.
Perhaps most importantly, serve your person. Devotion and selflessness will allow your relationship plant to flower and bloom into the most beautiful living creature. The rituals that you set with your person will strengthen your soil, and the impulsive texts and experiences will grow your plant into a beautiful, strong tree.
It's worth noting here that you need to fill your own cup too, or water your own plant. The maintenance of your own independence is important to your identity and confidence. It's vital that your cup is full, and that your partner is actively watering your plant, as you water theirs. We're not keeping score - rather, we're mutually devoting.
Service, devotion, ritual, and impulse to the person you love will open new levels of purpose, meaning, and perspective to your own life. It's worth it, and as someone who is practising this with my beautiful girlfriend, I'm absolutely loving it.
Talk soon.