Sunday, 29th March 2026
The twenties are the most consequential decade.
I'm 40 pages shy of finishing my latest book, The Defining Decade by Meg Jay. It must be said that this has been a brilliant read, and the source of motivation to write this post.
There's no doubt that the 20's years are some of the trickiest, but some of the most crucial. Life-inexperienced but life-excited, we leave the security and routine of our senior schooling, and enter an environment where proactive independence is compounded and rewarded (despite being so heavily accustomed to the routine and instruction-following of school).
I mention proactive independence, and it being an opportunity for the twentysomethings (as Meg Jay calls us) to launchpad our lives. Yet, in this age of social comparison, distraction and temptation, it can be challenging to find the things that feel "proactive". Often, we're left feeling behind, or not where we should be.
A lot of this can be attributed to our own lack of self control with respect to social media. Notice how I didn't blame social media, because social media isn't the problem - it's our approach to the tools that we have access to.
However, poor use of social media isn't the only distraction from moving toward our purpose (although for more of us than not, scrolling is the worst time eater). Drinking excessively, smoking pot, and the smallest habits that hinder us are all an excuse to divert from the path of self discovery. Trust me, I know.
It's been easy to fall into the trap of being "comfortably numb" in order to avoid the greater responsibility that we have to ourselves. As someone who is actively trying to move towards my purpose and meaning, I continue to succumb to my old habits of "Just one more YouTube video before bed" instead of prioritising my sleep, or spending a bit too much time on LinkedIn while I'm at work. But the mindset switch needs to happen eventually.
It's quite difficult to change our ways, without something changing. For me, I was on autopilot in my early twenties. I was barely happy to wake up, go to work my non-meaningful job, come home and sleep. I'd look forward to my weekends, and dread the 6am wakeup. Occasionally I'd work on a new ambitious idea that I had, but nothing changed environmentally. My systems were all the same.
If you want to change, you need to change your environment. I realised that something had to change. I began educating myself on this new wave of AI, having conversations with people who I was genuinely interested in, and found a greater sense of purpose through my girlfriend, who gave me a reason to show up differently.
I began working in the family business, doing what I was passionate about and what I'm great at. My routine became less about getting home and scrolling, and more about setting up my systems so that my floor was raised - which subsequently raised my ceiling.
I deleted social media and took back my time. I started taking my sleep seriously, resumed the pursuit of knowledge through reading, and prioritised myself and my relationship. These were the things that mattered to me. My time became less about comparing myself to others at their best, and more about comparing myself to who I was 24 hours ago.
In our 20s, time can feel like an infinite resource. Time is restricted, and there is no better moment to leverage this invaluable resource than during this decade. Our pre-frontal cortex is still developing, we are still getting established, and we have the opportunity to decide our trajectory and our values. Why not take our purpose more seriously, and budget our time?
I'm not going to pretend like I'm some perfect example. I still hit snooze, use my screens too much and slack on my reading. But once the course is set, it's addictive, and the continuous improvement is the best part - not being perfect.
I still don't know what my purpose is. All I know is that I want to be a strong partner to my girlfriend, a reliable man to my family, and I want to prove to myself that I can achieve the lifestyle and purpose that I have set out to achieve.
My two cents is this:
Review everything that you do in a day, and ask yourself the following:
- Does each task move you closer to being the person you'd like to be, or does it move you further away from being that person?
- If I was the person I'd like to be in 5 years, would I be doing these things today?
Remember; the goal isn't perfection - it's the compounding of positive outputs that move you towards your goal. Aim for net gain, and the gradual elimination of poor systems. As James Clear says, “You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”
Talk soon.